Growing up “Back in the day” Vs growing up “Today” Part One
Back in the day- when a women gave birth there was no scheduling or c-sections. When their water broke while waiting in line to see Santa Claus at Macy’s, the fathers threw them in the broken down pinto and drove to the hospital displaying a severe case of road rage. Women had a 50-50 chance of surviving the entire ordeal. Somehow it all worked out.
Today- Prior to their scheduled birth time, women today get Manis, pedis and a quick suntan at Beach Bum. They call a limo for transportation and enter the hospital looking like Snooki at a pub crawl. What ever happened to good
Old fashioned labor?
Back in the day- when we disobeyed our parents we got a back hand or whipped with a cheap leather belt purchased on sale at Pathmark. Somehow we survived.
Today- if you so much as mention the the words to your children “I’m gonna smack the shit out of you” they call Marcia Clark and Johnny Cochran on speed dial and retain their services and have Ponch from chips read you your rights.
Back in the day- our air conditioning was a green rusty fan with hepatitis covered in dead caterpillars collecting rent from a family of scissor bugs oscillating rabies. Somehow we didn’t die.
Today- our kids have the pleasure of central air set at 70 degrees with 18 vents per room. God forbid a circuit breaker trips or the units are under repair, the family acts like Ghandi in August. Children prance around the household as if they were African youths swimming with hippos during a draught.
Back in the day- 10 + 10= 20
10 + 10=228
3 + 8= 87
10 + 9=3
3 + 7= 100
WTF. Whoever came up with this mathematical system needs to be deported to Iraq in a dingy during hurricane season.
To be continued!