“Dirty Dick”

So my wife finally got through the stressful year known as 2016 and made her first gym appearance of 2017 tonight.

She was so excited and anxious to get back to her routine and work on her fitness as I sat on the couch and chomped on  doritos, watched football, drank beer and dipped three sleeves of oreo cookies into my milk freshly squeezed from locally grown cow udders.

 

When she finally walked in after her hard and thorough workout I made sure her lemon ice water was prepared perfectly for her.
As she opened the door and pounced on each step and rose to the top of the hallway I wanted to let her know I was concerned and politely asked “how was the gym babe”? Her reply was “it smelled  like dirty dick”.

So I chuckled and regurgitated a bit of my dorito and then began to absorb her comment. I’ve been with this woman for 22 years. Since she was 21. How many “dirty dicks” has she ran into??

So now I jumped into the shower with my tube socks, construction boots, tape measure and fruit of the loom speedos like Mike Holmes in a Potato sack race.

Naked man taking a shower

This one has got me really thinking! Damn!

3 Replies to ““Dirty Dick””

  1. Ignorance is bliss. Take the blue pill more often and keep telling her how gorgeous she is. If you feel an exit plan is in order this will buy you time to get the finances in your favor before sending her packing. If you pack and go the house becomes hers. The best thing you can do is to simply brush it off as a figure of speech. Just a verbal expression she must have picked up from girls night out. Good luck. LMAO.

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