Walmart Fashion Statememts


Walmart. Considering this Mega Store should only be allowed to operate in Chernobyl between the hours of 3am – 5am, we must take a moment to respect the fashion statements of its clientele.

Grandmothers are known to prance the aisles wearing “whinnie the poo” diapers sporting four inch stiletto heels with a “bieber believer” wife beater topped off with a backwards “Public Enemy” hat.

The children can be found in the fire arms section latched on to their mothers breast dressed in batman under roos with construction boots and full sleeve arm tatoos.

The main attraction of the children’s attire is the skull cap embroidered “my mommies breasties are the besties”.

The men are pretty simple. Full camo suits with 2 1/2 teeth accompanied by full grown beards housing what appears to be a nest of pelicans. Camo headpiece naturally.

The women, oh boy. Even I am at a lost for words for this travesty but I must give it a whirl. It begins with what I like to refer to as a spare tire of tatoos surrounding the torso area with fish net stockings running up the arms. The shoe of choice appears to be fishing boots and the head gear usually resembles that of an astronaut helmet. Unfortunately there are no pants in this description.

That being said, I walked in wearing jeans, tee shirt and nikes and I was the outcast!!!!