Most of us enjoy getting lost in the imaginary make believe world of movies and television. It’s a chance to escape from our everyday reality which can be overwhelming at times. It helps us forget for a minute that our mortgages are past due, our fussy children need to be fed, our insurance policies are in serious default, our Lu La Roe are 16 sizes to small and our pets need us to get home and walk them before they piss on our fluffy white Persian throw rugs or drop a ring worm infested deuce on our alligator skin recliners. We then have the audacity to come home and put the poor dogs snout in its own pee and shout “no bad dog” to teach them a lesson as we enjoyed coming attractions to the next Star Wars.
I feel this is an escape we all need from time to time. My issue I have is my wife and her escape. This women cries over Fraggle Rock re-runs. She has a revolving door of TV shows she currently watches and no matter what, the end result always involves her shedding a tear like Darva Conger at “Who wants to marry a millionaire”. I can’t afford the tissue bill and loss of mascara any longer.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a sucker for LMN, Lifetime and the legendary Hallmark Christmas movies where I start weeping like the newly adopted daughter of “Mommy Dearest.”
There needs to be a limit of our emotions that allows us to lose ourselves within this fantasy land. Last night my wife texted me politely as I was in the adjacent room watching Chips and asked for her “lifeline” of “humus & beanito chips”. I cooperated. She started to dip and chomp on her treats like Jenna Jaimeson at the Porn Awards. Upon my return to take her leftovers and clean her chin of humus drippings, she was sobbing as she watched an Aflac commercial so I realized I married an emotional women.
I found it ironic she never cried at our wedding, kids birth (well maybe she shed a morphine infused tear), our 10 year wedding anniversary, my kidney stone removal and the one time I thought she should weep just a bit, when I went down on my bruised kneecap and proposed. Instead of the traditional response of “yes I love you babe, how is your knee feeling and I am honored to be your wife” she whacked me in the head with a strawberry daiquiri and said “it’s about time”.
Emotions are a funny thing. With all the negativity and bullshit in the world today, FUCK IT!!!! Lose touch with reality for a moment. We all deserve it!