Super Bowl 2017. New England Patriots Vs Atlanta Falcons. Game started a bit slow. I sensed we were heading into a very boring game. What can I say. This matchup I believe will go down as one of the greatest Super Bowls to ever be played. Congratulations to the Patriots and Tom Brady as he earned his record setting fifth championship title.
As our family and friends gathered to begin the festivities we naturally had to incorporate some Super Bowl boxes to make the event more interesting. Considering 90% of the financially strapped guests in attendance were depending on becoming victorious in order to pay their monthly bills and responsibilities, we made this a priority and got right down to business.
My brother Joey, the host, took the initiative and began his mastermind of constructing the pools. Normally I would double check my brother in anything he does related to basic math but I felt he had this under control. In other words, we trusted him.
Pools were all set and we began selling boxes. The children ranging in ages 2-11 years old gathered around the table like Clark Griswold at Wally World to gamble away their school lunch money & weekly allowance.
Pools filled up rather quickly. Only problem was the pool was short a total of $50.00. So we thought. My brother and I became suspicious and started glancing around the room internally blaming our family and friends for not paying their dues. Proving who the culprit was became an impossible task. So we just accepted the things we could not change and moved on.
I’m not sure how many of you are familiar with how football pools work but it’s a fairly simple concept. Two teams. 100 boxes to be filled. Each team has numbers ranging from 0-9. At the end of each quarter if it lands on your numbers you win.
We continued to shake our heads in disbelief that a friend or family member would have the audacity to not pay the money owed for their selected box. As we approached the end of the quarter we decided to take a peak and see who the potential winner could be. Turns out my brother Joey completely forgot to include the #4 for one of the teams so there was a total of 10 boxes not included hence the $50.00 difference of suspected unpaid dues.
Maybe he baked to many squirrel & possum fucking meatballs! (126) to be exact. I knew I should have checked his math. Luckily the #4 didn’t play a factor in the pool results.
My sister Gina, consumed more wine than Meg Ryan in “When a Man Loves A Woman” and past out on the couch like a Bill Cosby victim. She enjoyed her much needed power nap and within 30 minutes bounced back up with a glass of wine in her hand like a “Jack in the Box” on crack. It was an amazing resurrection and I’ll put that up against Jesus on Easter Sunday any day.
Then there is my brother Jeffery. He is what we like to call “the kiss of death” in the gambling world. His abundance of negativity has plagued him through the years and whatever team he seems to have a monetary interest in is doomed before the contest begins. He had a vision in October to place a wager on the Atlanta Falcons to win the Super Bowl which paid out fantastic odds if they could reach the big stage and complete a magical season. We were all excited for Jeffery that his team had risen to the occasion and presented an opportunity for him to prosper and potentially earn a nice return on investment.
No shot. Eddie Mush!
Atlanta had a 25 point lead in the fourth quarter and the only reason they lost the big game was the simple fact Jeffery needed Atlanta to win. Biggest comeback in Super Bowl history. You can’t make this shit up. Poor Falcons.
Now I have the difficult task of determining who actually had a more successful comeback. Was it the Patriots QB Tom Brady leading his team back from the depths of hell and erasing a 25 point deficit in the fourth quarter to the greatest Super Bowl comeback victory in NFL history or my sister Gina battling back from a wine induced coma as she appeared to be 16 times the legal limit and slowly emerged back to life with a glass of Pinot Grigio in hand and proceeded to lip sing Brittany Spears tunes.
It’s a tough call. Both comebacks are extremely unique in their own special way and truly deserve much love and respect.
As usual, it was a great day with family and friends. Lots of food, drinks, laughs and a whole bunch of bad luck as my family members couldn’t win a football pool if Nostradamus was our partner and a man struck by lightning six times and bitten by a shark as a flock of seagulls shit on his head picked our numbers.
Until next year.