Valentines Day. True relationships should be above this!

Valentines Day.

What can I say. An event created by Hallmark. A brilliant concept and we are all guilty of falling victim to this meaningless holiday at some point in our lives.

In truth, do we really need a “special day” within the year to profess our feelings & love towards the ones we adore and care about?

I would hope the answer is no. For some of us this may be the only opportunity to express our deepest affection and gratitude in hopes our mates will possibly grab the willies or massage our bunion & gout infested big toe.

Perhaps your lover will purchase a cardboard red heart full of chocolate clusters that resemble undigested corn racoon turds that exceeds the expiration date and violates all board of health regulations that can land a fella 6 years in federal prison.

As I drove home from work today I noticed many men were freezing their nuts off as they wandered around aimlessly upon local streets with frozen flowers as lovers patiently awaited the arrival of these suckers.

What seemed to catch my eye was the fashion statement of these individuals. Most were bundled up in pink scarfs and perfectly trim beards paired with skin tight farlows and capezio footwear.

Bottom line is this.

I have nothing against the passionate obsession with this iconic holiday. If you feel the need to get motivated and kickstart your love for your partner, so be it.

Personally, does nothing for me.

I love my girl each and everyday. As a matter of fact Valentines Day is the only day I can’t stand my wife as I must spend $10.00 for a card engulfed in cellophane written by some pediphile who has the ability to express loving and caring words that most of us are simply not capable of accomplishing.

What truly tickles my fancy is when people say you married your best friend. Let’s get one thing straight. Your wife is not and will never be your best friend. Ever.

For starters my best friend growing up was a guy. We got arrested together. We robbed convenient stores together. He was the one who did everything in his power to try and prevent my wife and I from getting married. He introduced me to drugs and alcohol and held my mullet back as I threw up pork fried rice and fried wontons.

So to conclude, my wife is not my best friend and if any of you dudes out there think the woman you are married to or your partner is your best friend you need to take that teal green mini-van you’re driving along with your chucky cheese gift certificates and get your head examined by Dr Phil.

Most couples feel this “Invented” special day is a day to become intimate with each other.

It is just the opposite in my relationship friends.

My gift I presented to my wife this Valentine’s Day was deeply thought out and executed with precise concentration and careful planning. I offered to sleep on the couch so she can rest peacefully without my snoring. I also presented her with a gift card that stated I will not attempt any sexual advancements towards her until this coming Saturday evening.

She was so happy. I couldn’t help but notice a look in her eye I haven’t seen since we were snuggled up in the backseat of her navy blue sun faded Pontiac Sunbird on our first Valentines Day together.

Love each other everyday. No matter what. If you need “Valentines Day” to make your situation feel special you are in the wrong relationship. Just my opinion.

When you reach the point where “Valentines Day” makes you and your partner absolutely miserable and causes the both of you to cringe and throw up kidney beans, you are heading in the right direction and are truly in love!

Happy Valentines Day!

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