The warm weather is upon us and that can only mean one thing. Endless fighting over climate control in the household.
Being in a relationship always has its challenges. There is no greater obstacle in any partnership I believe than determining when is the appropriate time to turn on the air conditioning.
This debate, in my opinion has led to more divorces than “Screw My Wife.Com.”
For me personally, this argument is not much of an issue. I like to be cold. My wife likes to be cold and my kids have no choice. So when it’s time for AC there is no discussion in my home. My wife basically looks at me and says “We are putting the AC on or you will be sleeping on the futon watching The Golden Girls for a month”.
Naturally I jump up and throw the AC on like a sexually fustrated James Van Der Beek !
I am a softy. I give in.
Its the stories I hear of my sister and her husband and their epic battles of AC control that inspires me to speak about this. My sister gets hot when a light bulb is turned on. If a firefly gets to close to her she begins to sweat like Richard Simmons at a blow job seminar.
The best part of this is my brother in law. He’s a great guy. I personally love this guy. He’s one of those Grateful Dead dudes. I never understood that whole scene but when this guy comes over on Christmas morning he stares at the lights on the tree as if he is rediscovering fire. A “Very Gerry Christmas” album is always playing in this mans head. It’s amazing!
All kidding aside he’s a great dad, awesome provider for his family and an overall fantastic lad. If He has said three words in the 15 years I’ve known him it would be a lot. This bastard is so frugal his asshole redeems coupons each time he takes a crap. So naturally turning on an expensive piece of machinery like the AC unit is a tough decision for him.
The first sign of a rising sun my sis requests the AC to be turned on. The battle between these two begins. She always wins. Like all women, they always get their way. My brother in law makes every attempt to hijack the thermostat but my sister dressed in all black and sweat beads dripping from her temples gets her way. Women always do.
The problem is this. There is no Spring anymore. One week there is a blizzard. Next week it’s 83 degrees. We must learn to adapt. Times are changing. I just find it amazing how we all debate and argue over the appropriate time to turn the AC on!
My advice is this. When boobies begin to sweat and gonads start sticking together like silly putty it’s time to turn the AC on. It may only be for a day. Maybe two. It’s all about being comfortable.
In the end guys, just turn it on and keep your women happy. By denying our better halves this luxury of crisp, clean, cold air, you are now risking any and all opportunities for sexual relations with these beautiful
creatures and will only create a very uncomfortable situation for your sweaty nuts which will only stick to the inner thigh as you argue a losing battle.
Tell me about your personal AC experience!